The so-called "Southern National Congress" Speaks (Barely)

It was probably inevitable. All the coverage of John Brown sesquicentennial events was hardly a major theme in the media this year, but there was evidently enough information to seep down through the cracks, into that low-lying realm of Redneckdom and neo-Confederate pride to irritate one angry Southern man, whom we'll call Ronnie, a self-identified "delegate" of the so-called Southern National Congress. It seems that Delegate Ronnie was irritated by the wonderful blog of our friend and sister, Alice Keesey Mecoy, the direct descendant of John Brown, and thus sent the following "inspirational" lines to her:

It does not surprise me as crazies like you do the absurd to promote their agenda. Realhistory teaches you nothing and the so-called history you profess encourages you to promote this tommyrot. This is what we can expect in subsequent generations if we do not act now to stop absurd promotion of historical villians like John Brown as in the future people like Jeffrey Dahmer will stand beside George Washington as heroes of equal standing.

Well, perhaps he should have asked someone at the "SNC" to help him with his writing, although it is also possible that he may be the best writer in the group. Perhaps someone of his own "race" can help Delegate Ronnie with his spelling. I don't quite know what a "villian" is, but I'm pretty sure that John Brown was not one of them. Now, there's a word similar to "villian," Delegate Ronnie, and that's "villain." You may know some of them, or very likely are descended from a few yourself. Certainly there were a lot of villains running around Kansas in John Brown's day, terrorizing free state settlers and carrying banners that proclaimed "the supremacy of the white race"--just the kind of folk who inspire the Southern National Congress to do such good work today. Bottom line, Delegate Ronnie: get an editor; better yet, get an editor who is also a psychologist.

As far as "Realhistory" is concerned, perhaps we have finally located the bastion of historical truth--and it's in the possession of the "SNC," apparently the true guardians of history. Take heart, we can all rest peacefully tonight because the Southern National Congress is standing guard over "Realhistory." With the help of Delegate Ronnie, we finally know where to place John Brown the abolitionist on the spectrum of "Realhistory" biography: somewhere between George Washington and Jeffrey Dahmer. Stunning.

I'd like to close my little comments with an inside joke, but first you have to close your eyes and pretend that Delegate Ronnie of the Southern National Congress lives in a little cabin along the Pottawatomie Creek, and it's May 1856.

Knock-knock.

Ronnie: "Who's there?"

Unidentified man: "Northern."

Ronnie: "Northern who?"

Unidentified man: "Northern Army."

LOL