“CURRENT THEMES”
FREDERICK DOUGLASS REAPPEARS IN WASHINGTON
IS OFFERED EXECUTIVE POSITION
Reported by
Our Correspondent “In the Field”
“Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I notice.”
The President, as reported by CNN
At the risk of life, limb and a quarter inch of shoe leather, your humble correspondent was able to obtain, from an unnamed source in the nation’s capital, the following transcription of a presidential phone conversation last February:
*Hello? Is that you Bulldog? How’s it going? Just wanted to say you’re doing a fantastic job over at the Pentagon. Just fantastic! The people love us.
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*Yeah, I know. The world’s in a helluva mess but I, I mean we, are going to fix it bigly.
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*Say, I had a meeting at the White House the other day and someone mentioned this Frederick Douglass guy. Sounds like he’s tremendous. Think we could find a place for him over at Defense?
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*What? He’s what? How dark? Do you have a picture of him? Could he pass?
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*Hmm, that could be a problem. It wouldn’t go over well with my tremendous constituency of forgotten men and women.
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*Well, maybe I can give Rex over at State a buzz. He might be able to make him an ambassador to one of those Scandinavian countries, like Uruguay or Togo or something.
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*What? Another problem? What problem is that? I certainly can fix it.
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*He did?! When?
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*1895!! I wasn’t aware of that.
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*Buried in Rochester, huh? Tremendous city, Rochester. Doing fantastic things there in Rochester.
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*Well, I guess we should forget the whole thing then - as long as he isn’t around to bother us.
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*Say, Bulldog, tremendous talking with you. You just let me know if you need something - missiles, tanks, grenades, a couple of blondes from Mar-a-Lago.
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*OK, great, tremendous, fantastic. Talk to you later.
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*Bye, bye.
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--H. Scott Wolfe
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